Author: elledesa

A Delicate Exaltation

This place where I exist

I’m afraid to break it

A delicate exaltation

An underserved reprieve

From thoughts too heavy

Too ugly, too vast

Too cumbersome

For someone like me

For anyone

To carry

This place where I exist

Is rare

Is foreign

Is exceptional.

This is a place

That I have designed

My mind

My heart

My soul

A fragile place.

A magical place.

A safe place.



Black Cotton

Black cotton

Grows from my head

A gravity defying halo

Around my skull

It deceives you

Springy and wild

Commanding attention

But in reality

So tender, so delicate

Black cotton

Grows from my head

Black cotton

Mimics my heart






I like that word

When I close my eyes

Satellites orbit

Around my head

Tiny holograms

Of everyone

I’ve ever known

Dance on them

Vying for my attention

I make time

For each of them

Not sure how

But I do

I never forget

My mind

My heart

A universe







I Don’t Fit Well

I don’t fit well

Been here a while but

I don’t fit well

Thought I’d settle

Blend in


This place is too small

Your love is too big

So honest and so deep

Too clean

For a mess like me

There’s nowhere to hide

I’m exposed

I’m uncomfortable

I don’t fit well

We can’t force this


Been here a while but

I don’t fit well…

We don’t fit well.




Fun fact: I’ve never had to express feelings like the one in this poem. Sad fact: I’ve been on the receiving end a time or two or three. Interesting fact: all of those times (some major relationships, some sweet flings that were never meant to be), I’ve had to initiate the conversation that would ultimately result in me getting hurt because I could tell things weren’t right/the same… in fact, that’s a poem I need to work on haha



An amalgam of broken pieces

Shoved and glued back together.

It’s not quite right

Something’s off.

All cracks and crevices

And missing bits…


But this is no tragedy.



Has more surface area for love.

More room to connect

Fluent in empathy

A master of compassion

So much taken.

So much more to give.



A humble soul

Resilient and vulnerable

Present and feeling

Scarred and lovely

A treasure not to look at,

But instead one to see.






To all of the people I’ve taken the time to look at, but never really saw.

The Chasm

There’s this chasm

Right down the middle

Of the human experience.

We are



Delicacy and ferocity.

Pride and humility.

Intelligence and ignorance.

All encased

Within a meaningless shell

The divide,

It makes us vulnerable.

The divide,

It makes us strong.

Beautiful creatures,

We are.

…and ugly, too.

Fascinatingly mundane.

Collectively unique.




Color Me Yellow

Color me yellow

Marigolds and sunshine

Butter me up, Babe

Make me laugh

That ugly laugh

That real one

You know…

Too much teeth, too much gums

A parade of bumblebees

Spilling from my mouth


Spell out my name

With those little golden letters

Like the ones

On the spine

Of my favorite books

I wanna twinkle

Bright, like a star

Wild, like a firecracker


Wrap me up, Honey

Like a lemon Starburst

They’re the best ones


Oh and don’t forget

Snag some bananas

While you’re out

You know I won’t eat ‘em

But they’ll look fancy

In that amber fruit bowl

You bought for me

Way out

In Amarillo.



#Poetryfromthenotpoet Have I mentioned that I supposed to be writing a novel?

Humble Me

Humble me,


I’m way too high

I’m far too happy.

Shake me up,

Cut me down.

I’m thriving, see

Light on my feet

Cheeky grin.

I feel good

Too good.

Do your thing.

Put me in check.

Break my heart.

Crush my spirit.

Remind me.

To live is to suffer.


Remind me.

Don’t let me get too far

Don’t let me get used to this.

Do it now.

If you wait too long

I might not survive the fall.

Do it now,


Humble me.




Friends! It’s been a minute! I was going through it majorly last night time I posted. Guess what? Still am. Know what else? Still breathing. 😉 Also, this poem sounds kind of dark, but it doesn’t feel that way. I do believe we all need to be humbled now and then… perhaps not at the spirit crushing level though. This is written from that too-good-to-be-true perspective. You know, when everything is going so right that you get kind of nervous? I haven’t been there in while! I’m definitely on the recently humbled side of things, but they say it’s a roller coaster, right?

When I’m Dead

I wonder

If you’ll love me

When I’m dead.

I know death is ugly

In a physical sense

But I always imagined

That as your flesh

Returns to the earth

All the pretty things

All the beautiful bits

That were buried

Deep down

And scattered about…

I always thought

That surely

They leak out

Seep into the mud…

Make sweet flowers bud

You love flowers


I bet

You’ll love me

When I’m dead.





Demons fly around your skull

Whispering evil things

You’re worthless.

You don’t belong here.

You fight them valiantly

With prayers and kind thoughts

But they’re relentless

They tell you crazy lies

You know you shouldn’t believe

But they never tire

They never stop

They smell your tiniest weakness

A little crack in your exterior,

They dig in

And rot your insides

Like a cavity.

No dentist, no doctor

Can fix this

Their poison is sticky and foul

It mutates your soul

You’re on the edge

Of an infinite black hole

Careful, Love